When the waves roll in
we shall not resist.
(more…)I don’t write fiction…
-
The Lumberjack
There once was a young lumberjack who was very skilled at what he did. This lumberjack was so strong and so talented that he could cut down nearly twice the number of trees in one day as anyone else and he was widely regarded as the best in the land. All the girls wanted to get with him and all the boys wanted to be him. He was happy and proud of himself. He was comfortable in the idea that he would always be at the top of his game.
(more…) -
A Room Down The Hall
I would concede that my descriptions over simplify reality exactly to the extent that they are misinterpreted.
I had wanted the room with the windows but it didn’t work out that way. Instead, my plants and I have taken refuge in the walk-in closet where we sit around a bare light bulb trading ghost stories. While I have finally succeeded in wrecking my marriage, there remains only one way out of this mess and that is to go through it.
(more…) -
The Time In Between
East Coast Ira walks in the leaves of autumn.
(more…)
They smell like fall.
They smell like frost.
They smell like change. -
People Watching
Try to make it real. Compared to what? -John Legend
People watching is a habit that causes insanity. I should know, I do it compulsively. The problem, you see, is that people lie and this is Universal Truth #1. They lie on every level and about every thing.
(more…) -
Watching The Flowers Sway
Prologue: The following is not fiction but it didn’t happen to me. Rather, it is the result of my one and only successful attempt at communicating with the dead. I believe this account to be true and accurate. As always, names have been changed but, in this case, it’s to protect the privacy of the innocent.
Watching The Flowers Sway
I was watching the flowers sway, staring at the sky through a screen of yellow petals. Clouds float by and birds soundlessly peck seeds from the round center of the flower faces. Butterflies alight on my hands. I don’t feel them but their wings are luminous. There is no time here. The jingle of keys breaks the silence.
(more…) -
JC
Dear Mankind,
(more…)
I’m afraid we must redefine the nature of our relationship. I regret to inform you that I will no longer be able to accept your cash donations in exchange for opportunities to blow me on television. While this was a pleasurable and beneficial arrangement, you loose lipped cajolers have been portraying me in an unflattering light and my agent says it’s bad for business. -
Fake Doctors
The following is my opinionated, but not entirely unscientific, testimony for breaking up with dairy products.
Generally speaking, we Americans have been indoctrinated in the gospel of cow’s milk; being led to believe that partaking in its creamy goodness is not only wholesome but necessary. Milkiness is next to godliness. Don’t believe me? Turn on the TV and see for yourself. Interestingly though, no other adult mammal consumes milk and certainly no other mammal consumes the milk of a different species. Be that as it may, our religious fervor for cow’s milk will not be quelled by the facts. To hear some folks tell it you’d think Elsie sits at the right hand of Christ as an honorary member of the holy trinity: Father, Son and Holy Fucking Cow.
(more…) -
Missing: The King Of Porn
I have an obsession and it’s growing like a tumor. It all started with one little thought: I wonder whatever became of the self proclaimed King Of Porn, Samuel Crimson? Upon consulting the Googles I learned that he directed forty films in seven years and then vanished from the Earth four years ago. When I say vanished, that’s what I mean, not dead; there would be news stories of his demise but vanished and no one seems to care. Well now, if there’s a finger guaranteed to fondle my obsession trigger it’s not being able to find out something I want to know. What started as an innocent question is rapidly becoming a compulsive preoccupation. Like digging for lost keys in that duffel bag of a purse I carry around, I will turn this world upside down and shake it until I find what I’m looking for.
(more…)
No Rest For The Wicked 